I haven’t painted anything since high school, but sitting here for 45 minutes creating a breast cancer pumpkin was pretty fun - and relaxing.
Breast cancer is not fun. It is not pink ribbons and fake breasts and “one of the better cancers”. It is scary. My boobs did try to kill me. My body has aged 30 years in nine months.
I’m in menopause, I have osteoporosis.
My first breast cancer awareness month since diagnosis has been hard. There has been a lot of pink, a lot of fundraising for dubious organizations, a lot of ribbons. There are also a lot of recurrences, resistance to medications, progression, and death.
At the same time, there is life, music, art, nature, and joy. There are kisses, hugs, holding hands, beautiful fall leaves, and hot cider. Making art (even primitive pumpkin art) out of breast cancer feels like turning a negative thought into a positive one.
As I approach another few weeks of scans, biopsies, lab tests, and oncology visits, I am trying to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.
Trying to remain optimistic and hopeful despite my nature (which is, let’s be honest, realistic/pessimistic most of the time). October can be a tough month for breast cancer. Happy Halloween to all my #breastcancerwarriors out there.
#fuckbreastcancer #lobularbreastcancer #fuckmenopause#fuckletrozole #breastcancerhalloween#estrogenreceptorpositive #cancerpumpkin#cancerisscaryshit #cancerhalloween#breastcancerawarenessmonth#doublemastectomywithoutreconstruction#noboobsnoproblem
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