Gratitude - Travel, Racing, and Friends

 

January 2021 - diagnosed with stage 2 lobular breast cancer. 

September 2021 - back to back 1/2 ironman weekends, about to race in my happy place: Cozumel. 

I didn’t know if I’d race at all this year, and looking back I know the promise of this ritual kept me going and fighting and strong. 

I am so grateful to be here today, and for every single damn day I have. Grateful for the privilege of racing 70.3 miles in paradise, with my love @beewood17 and with good friends @annarlloney & Patrick. Grateful I can be here, strong and ready, for another day. 

#fuckbreastcancer #lobularbreastcancer #fuckmenopause#imcozumel703 #smashfestqueen #teamsfq #biscaycoaching#tailwindtrailblazer #ilovecozumel #breastcancerwarrior#triathletewithcancer #flatandfabulous #noboobsnoproblem#flattiesunite #teamshestrong

70.3 World Championships St. George

 This breast cancer warrior is about to race the Ironman 70.3 world championships in St George, Utah. 

Nothing but gratitude to be here, to be sharing this experience with my love @beewood17, and to be racing in this stunning place. 

Special thanks to @landrymichele and @smashfestqueen for outfitting me in this gorgeous cancer warrior kit. Just like my scars, I’ll wear it proudly, as a reminder of where I’ve been, where I hope to go, and the strength I need to get there. 

#fuckbreastcancer #lobularbreastcancer#triathletewithcancer #fuckmenopause #fuckosteoporosis#doepicshit #setgoalssmashgoals #im703wc2021 #im703#racingagainstcancer

It's official: Osteoporosis

 

Today’s adventure in breast cancer imaging: a DEXA scan. Basically a fancy X-ray of my lumbar spine, hips, and femurs. 

Scores of -1 to -2.5 mean osteopenia; scores > 2.5 mean osteoporosis. My scores are in green - and I have osteoporosis. 

I kind of anticipated this, even though I’ve been religiously taking calcium, vitamin D, and exercising. And now that I know, I’m devastated. 

The one steady light in my life this past year has been training and exercising - and now apparently a yoga twist could fracture my spine, and too much running might fracture my femurs. The cruelty of breast cancer is that it just keeps taking things away, slowly and painfully, one by one. 

3 more years of bisphosphenate infusions might stave off further bone loss, but this likely isn’t reversible and probably won’t get better. It’s hard to process. Right now I’m sad, angry, and scared. 

Two 1/2 Ironmans on the schedule in the next 2 weeks - and I’m terrified to run, train, or fall. I’ll have to dig deep to find some mental strength to get through these races, and I will have to let go of how angry I am that this is the wreckage left behind by breast cancer. 

I’m not sure what my triathlon future will look like after these races - or even if I’ll continue my daily, desperately needed yoga. It’s too much to contemplate right now. So instead I’m going to Utah to compete in the Ironman 70.3 World Championships this week, knowing it will probably be my last one. 

#fuckbreastcancer #fuckmenopause #lobularbreastcancer#breastcancerwarrior #aromataseinhibitor#estrogenreceptorpositive #osteoporosis #dexascan#triathletewithcancer #zometa