Goodbye, Verzenio and Goodbye, Instagram

 May 22, 2025 - today was supposed to be my last day of Verzenio (abemaciclib), completion of a two year course of a CDK4/6 inhibitor to crush any remnant cancer cells into apoptosis (cell death) and with them, any chance of recurrence. 

I didn't make it the full two years - I had to stop 2 months ago because I was in a bike wreck, fractured my jaw and wrist, and given its effects on immune function and healing, we decided to just stop the Verzenio early. In the two months I've been off it, a few things have changed:

*I no longer need to take pills twice a day, which I never quite realized was such a giant pain in the ass until I had to do it. I can throw that AM/PM pill dispenser away!

*I no longer need to get my labs checked every freaking 90 days, to make sure the pills aren't wrecking my white blood cells/kidneys/liver etc. - I can go back to normal person lab tests: when I need them. I'm grateful I never really had any bad side effects, and that with my white blood cells hovering in the low to scary low range, I somehow did not get any major infections. Wearing a mask 100% of the time at work probably helped. 

*My hair is growing back! 8 months into Verzenio, the combo of the drug + menopause + endocrine blocker started causing major hair thinning. I'm grateful I had a thick curly head of unruly gray hair to start with, because I don't think it was super obvious to anyone but me, but godDAMN did my hair start to fall out. Tears were shed along with strands. Investments were made in shampoos, oils, tinctures, and prayers to the Hair goddess - please don't let me end up looking like Larry David (a comedian whom I adore - but whose hair I do not, and my unruly gray curls were headed in that direction...). 2 months off Verzenio however and it is starting to feel like my regular hair - and for this I am incredibly grateful. 

*Pharmaceuticals are stupid expensive, and I hope I never have to take another drug so expensive that it requires signature for a FedEx delivery. I'm grateful ironically to Eli Lilly, because their Lilly Cares program paid for a lot of this drug, and I am thankful to have been on the front line of cutting edge cancer drugs, but there has to be a more reasonable way to price drugs. 

*The early breast cancer CDK4/6 inhibitor trials (NATALEE, MonarchE) have shown some impressive results in preventing local, regional or distant breast cancer recurrence, and though they were not blinded and have some drawbacks, the data was convincing enough and my cancer was high-ish risk enough to give it a go. I'm glad I did - as someone who didn't have chemo or radiation, there'll always be a lingering doubt if I did "everything I could" to prevent it from coming back. 

So, goodbye Verzenio, let's hope you have the desired outcome of crushing cancer. And with this post, goodbye as well to @tracycrushescancer on IG. I've had enough of the metaverse, the broligarchy, the continuous flood of garbage I don't want to see whenever I open a social media app. I'm slowly and steadily deleting and decreasing my online footprint (as much as anyone can, anyway) and regaining my positivity, energy, and focus on much more important things like growing clematis jackmanii on my porch, snuggling with my dogs, and laughing with my husband. 

This isn't the end of the tracycrushescancer journey - it will just be limited to the blog, which I invite you to follow if you are so inclined. For the breast cancer advocates, warriors, patients, providers and friends I've made through this platform, I am so grateful we crossed life paths, and hopefully some of you will find me in real life or in other forums. Strength, love, and light to all my fellow breasties - I will miss you. 

MonarchE & NATALEE trial refs:

1. S.R.D. Johnston, M. Toi, J. O’Shaughnessy, et al.

   Abemaciclib plus endocrine therapy for hormone receptor-positive, HER2-negative, node-positive, high-risk early breast cancer (monarchE): results from a preplanned interim analysis of a randomised, open-label, phase 3 trial
   Lancet Oncol, 24 (1) (2023), pp. 77-90
2. 
   
   Lipatov Oleg Slamon Dennis, Nowecki Zbigniew, et al.

   Ribociclib plus endocrine therapy in early breast cancer
   N Engl J Med, 390 (12) (2024), pp. 1080-1091
3. 
   
   P. Rastogi, J. O’Shaughnessy, M. Martin

   Adjuvant Abemaciclib Plus Endocrine Therapy for Hormone Receptor–Positive, Human Epidermal Growth Factor Receptor 2–Negative, High-Risk Early Breast Cancer: Results From a Preplanned monarchE Overall Survival Interim Analysis, Including 5-Year Efficacy Outcomes
   JCO (2024)